Damn bugs!
I hate them. They turn my coolest, laid back moments into a crazed, panicked, shrieking school-girlish fiascos. I have an intense fear of bees, a strong fear of spiders and, unknown to many, a nagging fear of Mosquitos. (yes, I admit it damn you!)
I'm sure you may have heard the story where I was in the driver seat of our family car in my parents driveway when a bee (lets name him Steve) casually decided to show its stupid unwelcomed ass into the car full of my kids and husband. I jump out of the car, totally forgetting I had it in "drive" and commenced the typical "crazy dance" of swatting at the air. By the time I calm down, I look up to notice Steve following the car full of screaming people as it coast down the driveway nearing the neighbor's mailbox. That was one of two times I almost killed my family with one shot but I won't get into the other for the sake of my credibility as a mother.
I don't know where the hell it comes from. Is it a learned behavior. And if it is learned, can you just "un-learn" it?? Why can't I just wake up and say "fuck you fear, I'm not gonna be afraid anymore because you suck!!!" Followed that with a picnic consisting of Zinfandel and cheese with Steve and his friends and family. I want to KILL fear. My fear of confrontation, my fear of hitting a deer with my car, my fear of uncertainty, my fear of failing as a mother, my fear of skydiving, my fear of sucking as a wife....my fear of Steve.
There are so many things in life that I am bigger than, yet that one little word, fear, empowers them to overcome me. But God gives us tools and it is up to me to use them to pummel fear out of my life. He gave me experience, bright lights, prayer, friends, adrenaline and Daniel.
He gave me a broom and Wasp spray
And I'm sorry but Steve, one of us has to die.
No comments:
Post a Comment